[Written: 2024-10-13]

My paranoid mind reflects lies I see in your eyes,

It deceives me and embellishes insecurity into fire and ice.

I kill it with rhymes and tell it I know it spies,

My mind dies, but the dead liar still lies.

I tell myself I’m fine,

And I’m not alone and I’m not one of a kind.

I even believe it after some time,

But, the cracks in my reality own me, I am not mine.

I don’t know how I survive,

I know I am no saint, but every day I arrive.

I have to trust the wise people around,

But shoe on the other foot , I think I would have held them down.

I feel in my words I start to drown,

Because my logic makes no sense to me any more, and I have lost a part of my world I found.

I will confess that your forgiveness feels like a curse,

My short comings in life magnified by my disordered mind hits my conscience worse.

I don’t mean to offend my family and friends,

My words come out damaged when I use my pen.

I want to help others as they have helped me,

But the world has little use for damaged minds it seems.

So, my path a choppy ocean I can foresee,

But, I’ll keep relighting fire under my hopes and my dreams,

And I won’t stop until you can believe.