2024-08-25

In anybody’s life, we are bound by infinite restraints and boundaries; rules and regulations; limits and consequences. We somehow all see and feel it as a negative. From the childhood bullies at primary and secondary school that make us second guess our own rite to walk the earth; from the acne that knocks down our self confidence and the girls (or boys) that toy with our hearts and make deafen us with our own voice screaming and shouting inside our heads. To the parents who know best and tell us to know our place; marking boundaries clear as day for only us not to break – even when the frolic over them any time they choose. To the police officers who protect the world by marking the next generation as the cause of all that is wrong with the world; to the NHS Doctors and staff that hear with their minds and not their ears; and prejudge us in a split second – for that is all the time that they have been designated to do so.

Somewhere along the way I came to realise that all of these restraints; all of these boundaries; all of these rules and consequences – they are all okay. They serve a better purpose than the pettiness or unfairness they appear to be at the time; they guide us to a safer an better place; an infinite place of infinite possibilities; they guide us back to ourselves; to push our minds and find another way; not one that has already been laid out and mapped out by others for us to follow and be shouted at for every tiny mistake; but a more free and elated placed built around the imaginations we have. And whether or they were put there intentionally or not, it does not matter.

Our minds can open up new possibilities within us and within others; they can protect and comfort and sooth ourselves and our offspring; and maybe our parents and siblings too if we are lucky.

We choose to express our minds in many different ways; actions; gestures; gifts; creations and words. Words are maybe the most powerful as they have to survive and get altered by a chaos and organisation; they have to be accepted by different people and tested by them too; before they can be allowed to be used by you to have the effect you want / intend.

I believe the words we use, the ones which are most important, find they’re way back to the ones we love most. But it takes a lot of time for them to land. Partly because every person is so complicated, it takes a long time to hit their radars; and then further time for them to focus in on them; partly because people are also focusing on a unmeasurably large world of life; with chaos everywhere; even where organisation is there are still so many distractions and dangers or perceived dangers that they have to worry about; they just haven’t got time to focus on everybody’s words at the same time – including mine and yours.

I feel that now I have tried every way I could to change the world and failed; to follow others and failed; to be a part of the bigger picture and failed; I have come to the point where I am still here; there are people who appreciate me for me; my time and company; what I have to offer despite my short comings and that is more than enough. If I can’t change the world; then it can’t change me either; at least not the core of who I am – and when I was so lost trying to change myself; or the world; or fit into either somehow; I actually found myself – a small or large pert of myself is what I am still discovering.